Friday, February 25, 2022

VACATION! From my problems…

 


This buddy got a surprise last night as they found the mother load of seeds on the feeder table…

I’ll include that clip from our wyze cams in the next Vloguary post on YouTube…

I can identify with this little bandit…

Hunting for sustenance 

Lurking in the shadows

Consuming everything and anything in sight…

My brain has been like this…

With creating our new room set ups…

New office where the studio was

New guest bedroom where the den/snug/tv room was

New studio where the old upstairs tv room was…

I make lists and lists

Some are my chores

Some are household chores 

Some are items to move…

Little yellow chest to new guest room

All cardboard to basement 

Don’t forget to wash the downstairs shower curtain

And don’t forget to water the plants~ you last did it on this day

Oof the plants are a true reflection of how my brain feels…

Languishing 

Needs nurturing 

Needs nourishment 

Needs time to get back to full strength…

And I don’t argue with the muses…

When they put inspiration in front of me…

I feel like I can not turn down that gift.

The timing is odd…

Being my winter wall/low vitamin D time…

I found I heap of information 

A wealth of knowledge 

Plethora of resources…

A rabbit hole if you will…

About inner child healing

Childhood trauma 

Shadow work

Behavioral type therapy goodness…

And as I consume the theory 

And find the patterns that match mine…

I feel a click…

And it’s invigorating as it is deeply saddening…

I feel comfort in the knowledge that there are tools here…

And I’m not the only one…

At the same time~ I have a very upset child inside of me…

She’s pissed… 

She’s broken every window in her room…

And the screams of rage…

They are sometimes all I hear……………

I know now that if I silence the white noise 

That is the cause and effect of this bee sting of emotional chaos

I might finally take the edge off

I don’t think I will ever be able to erase it 

Unless that machine that removes unwanted memory 

From eternal sunshine for the spotless mind movie…

But I pause

And look at that raccoon 

What does it represent 

Maybe that they can consume trash

And be nourished by it…

Unharmed…

And move along…? 

And they look cute with a smoky eye…


Maybe…


Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Flights ~ 59: Travel Blind

 




59: Travel Blind 

So busy 

Time traveling  

A week 

Is weaker still

I was 

Tired 

An hour ago 

Next jump

Dive 

Warp

Dimension 

Might take 

The cache 

And leave this 

Travel mind

Travel blind

Tuesday, February 22, 2022

Getting Lost

 



There’s a page 
From my own book
And I’m lost in it

Even in all the years
I left her 
By the side
Of the road

She sat and waited 
Watching 
Every vehicle 
That passed 
With unrelenting hope

In the pages
Were maps
And photographs 
Remembrances of our memories together 

She whispers
And tugs at me
Sometimes late at night
So I listen

My dictation is approved 
Stamped 
And tossed through 
Circuitry 
Wires
Focused reliably 
And listening to hear the same

Like 
Be liked
Hold 
Never be Holden to
But to hold
Close and near
That little spark
Buried within you 


I haven’t even finished putting “flights” out here…
And the tether let me through 
To another bank of verses… 
“Ghosts” 






Wednesday, February 9, 2022

Flights ~ 57:

 



57:

Paralyzed 

Having been 

Run down 

By

The everyday

Reality 

That I currently 

Need to be 

Avoiding 


Wednesday ~ the child is full of woe… whaaaaaaaaat… I mean, I get it if you want it to be the weekend…? But… I will be filming some of the progress I’m making in our office/studio makeovers… two rooms at once… and I’m itching to start a new painting… like dreaming of it… every night… can’t wait!!! 

Tuesday, February 8, 2022

Flights~ 56: The Expansion

 




56:

Are you hurt 

I’m

Hurting too

Aching 

For the first 

Beginning 

Again

Starting points

Before

The expansion 

Of dark matters

That has 

Now chained 

All points 

That 

Touch

The ground 




Monday, February 7, 2022

Flights ~ 55: Sweet Echoes

 


55: Sweet Echoes 

As I searched 

For silence 

You 

Gave it all

To me

Forever 

An endless

Pit of infinity 

Echoing

Only 

Back and forth 

Sweet

Nothingness 





It’s another Monday~ the child is fair of face~ it’s possible it’s manic, and snowing~ with the delightful tree kittens foraging in the frost for their snack… happy motivation to you all ☕️


For videos of plants, pets, poems, and paint:

https://youtube.com/channel/UCwJrc7pn-PTCOQT_H5ffe2g


#poem #poetry #creativewriting #writing #writer #innerchildwork #ptsd #depression #anxiety #transmutation #magick #pandemiclife #hope #picoftheday #projects #enchanted #fairy #muses #blogger



Sunday, February 6, 2022

Flights~ 54: Lense

 


55: Lense


Crippled envelope 

Tho the letter 

Is still good 

Lens

To the old world 

Telescope

Terrorscope 

Balloon

Broken

Steel

Strength 

Gripping hands

Saturday, February 5, 2022

My Secret Society (BEHR Paint)


But I’ve been daydreaming while painting…

Looking at plants I’d love to add to our gardens 
We already have a lot of warm colors of plants
Maybe a few more pollinator faves…
I have some blue toadflax in my cart as well…
We shall see…






It just makes it so easy to shop….
Pop in the search and go…


While we are talking about blue things…

The studio build…


Lol out of sync pics… after moving stuff away…


Before I moved the objects that house the universe’s 
Hoard of Dust… 


And the baseboards…
White or blue…???


I started with white… 
And 
I think I’m going to go blue…
And
I think that I will also attack 
The heat registers with
This 
BEHR paint
In 
Secret Society 


It would just make that register bump out 
Disappear
Like 
Magic 
Lol
My painting supply bin…
Wouldn’t you like to know what’s in it…???


These windows! 
We have 32 in the whole house…
I’ve painted 8 so far…
Glad I enjoy it…


No regrets… enjoying this so much…


I’m going to need lots of coffee!!!
My favorite mix right now ~
I make a simple syrup with local honey 
4 ice cubes 
Layer the coffee on that with the top room~
Beverage attic ~ if you will lol
Layered with 
Unsweetened almond milk
I love how it stays separate until I mix…
Reminds me when we used to go out for coffee on the 
Weekends…


I consolidated 
And
Moved stuff
How does it accumulate 
All this accoutrement-ish stuff
It looks great when placed 
But
When it’s strewn about 
It just looks like junk!
Wtf lol


Lil better 
But I’ll work on it 


Ummm hello 
I’m realizing this warm to cool mix
It’s really hitting the spot for me!


Yum…. 
I’m not a huge fan of traditional looking sconces 
And there are four of these in this room… 
All connected…
With only one light switch… 
Meh… we’ve never used them…
But this may be the lewk…

Anyway…


For videos of plants, pets, poems, and paint:

https://youtube.com/channel/UCwJrc7pn-PTCOQT_H5ffe2g


#poem #poetry #creativewriting #writing #writer #innerchildwork #ptsd #depression #anxiety #transmutation #magick #pandemiclife #hope #picoftheday #projects #enchanted #fairy #behrpaint #muses


Friday, February 4, 2022

Flights- 54: Sledge

 




54:

Lil sledge 

Incandescent 

In every way 

Take 

More 

Time 

To glow 

Please

Lil sledge 

Desired wedge 

Of 

Sweet merengue 

Fluffy was your draft

That kept 

Yogurt wings aloft

Now left

To be cross

Abominably so




I should be jumping into my painting today… there are many detours, flashing, shiny, paths that are pulling me in other directions… the rain~ hypnotic, the couch~ frikkin cozy, the laundry~ not as fun, but nice when your favorite skeleton onesie is clean and ready to wear ;-) the hours seem to pass so quick here. I’m sure there must be a sci-fi anomaly~ worthy of an epic tv series that could garner a cult following, and a packed meet and greet at Comicon…. Right…? 





For videos of plants, pets, poems, and paint:

https://youtube.com/channel/UCwJrc7pn-PTCOQT_H5ffe2g


#poem #poetry #creativewriting #writing #writer #innerchildwork #ptsd #depression #anxiety #transmutation #magick #pandemiclife #hope #picoftheday #projects #enchanted #fairy #muses




Thursday, February 3, 2022

Flights- 53: Feels Like Ashes

 




53: Feels Like Ashes


Physique 

Complete with ghosts 

Echoes 

And bones

Wrapped up 

In excuses for being 

Subverted visions

In yet

One more 

Emanation 

Giving forth

To 

Just another 

Plain cardboard box

Mislabeled 

With riddles 

And invisibility 




This Thursday is finding me so worn thin, stretched, and eager to find methods of ergonomic efficiency to make it thru to a hopeful state… do you feel the same? 


I’m trying so hard to at least finish the painting of my new studio desk nook… I will eventually make it around the room… 




For videos of plants, pets, poems, and paint:

https://youtube.com/channel/UCwJrc7pn-PTCOQT_H5ffe2g


#poem #poetry #creativewriting #writing #writer #innerchildwork #ptsd #depression #anxiety #transmutation #magick #pandemiclife #hope #picoftheday #projects #enchanted #fairy #muses

Wednesday, February 2, 2022

Flights- 52: Passing Notes

 




52

Language 

Is a mouthful 

Pain is 

Movement 

Cat

A tonic

On my lap

Words

Medicine 

When graphite 

Slays the page

Salvation 

Sliding

The illicit 

Notes

Under the door

To the Milky Way 

And back

Tuesday, February 1, 2022

Flights ~continued~ 51:

 


51

They told me

Never 

Build a fence 

Around your 

Tiny cemetery 

The averages

Say

Once one part

Of you dies

There will be more 

Like rungs 

On a ladder 

Going down

Into the dirt




This collection… I thought there were only about 52 poems… seems like we maybe going longer… like I cousin you haven’t seen in years… I swear you were just a tiny child… but you are a fully grown adult… how’d that happen… probably like the other night… I’m drifting off to sleep at 12:30ish am… and words start gathering at my minds gate… sometimes I ignore them promising them that they can enter the club when I wake and it’ll still be a good time… and then I open my eyes and the crowd behind the velvet rope is completely gone… empty streets… just a ragged piece of paper being tossed in the breeze between the dense landscape of buildings that makes up my thoughts and feelings… with the occasional allley cat wandering thru ~ who is so cute and may come over if you call to it… careful tho… it’s probably a situation where you pet it ~ it purrs… then whips around and the claws are out… y’know like life. 



;-)



For videos of plants, pets, poems, and paint:

https://youtube.com/channel/UCwJrc7pn-PTCOQT_H5ffe2g


#poem #poetry #creativewriting #writing #writer #innerchildwork #ptsd #depression #anxiety #transmutation #magick #pandemiclife #hope #picoftheday #projects #enchanted #fairy #muses