Winter 17

 

I remember 

Youth 

Sleeping in the wallpaper 

Head at the foot of the bed

Hi Fi

Sitting inches from 

Where my breath 

Can be seen 

In the cracked window sill

Tapes

Public radio 

Volume on one

Like today’s streaming 

An incomplete cousin 

Replicating 

Unpredictably 

Like the moment 

In print

The taste for memory 

Sits well

On a very hungry tongue 

As overcast January 

Leads you to February 

And this the thickest blood

Of the current year 

Digging for vitality 

In the attic

Scheduling the traditional stew 

For every lunch

With a side

Of oldies

That look young 

So young

To me now

Image above is a close up of My painting “Horses In Fog”

Sometimes you just wanna run around and play loud music like the 17-year-old that you are inside your head… 

x-J

The Desk Has Ascended!

 Can you believe that the day has finally arrived!!!

Still have to settle it all in

But!

Look at it! 

Now compare the old table… 

It now lives in our kitchen 

Where the sheer square space of it

Is much more appropriate…

Even husband said it felt more inviting to sit and eat than the last lil table we had set up…

I have so many lil things that need to get pushed around 

Here and there 

Pictures and mirrors etc etc… 

And there had been 

One colossal distraction last week 

Kind of slowing all of the progress…

I’ve been working on my ACNH island…

Is that art imitating life or an Artist imitating their real life?

Horse painting anyone…?

LoL

We’ve been obsessed with the UK show TaskMaster as well, which now I’ve attempted to recreate on our Animal Crossing Island… almost finished with it… 

And I’m off!

Writing and painting and living and yeah there’s dancing and singing too… 

Trying to take in all of this energy that’s coming in!

x~J

Poetry Madness!

 

My poetic link

Fervor 

Download-a-matic 

Keeps giving 

The telescope 

Never 

Running out 

Of stars

So 

Breathe they said 

You get a day

To revive 

To shake it

And take 

The way your matrix 

Made tricks

x~ J aka Painter Le Fay 

Valentines Day ~ Show yourself some love!

 

A sweet card was left for me to find… very sweet.

And as I wait till the end of the workday to spend time with my loverly husband, I’m finding that I am dreaming of outdoor pursuits…

All of the empty salad tubs that came from a years worth of salads… seed starting potting mix… seeds… I need to buy! 

Thinking about the warmth of today and getting my 20 minutes in the sun…

The birds need seed again, and I would love to take a walk…

This spring energy coming in is palpable.

I’ve been in hibernation mode for so long…

Since we’ve had so many grief based life experiences, one on top of another…

I was aching for a physical representation of the new energy coming in… so, along with decluttering the house and fixing things up, I changed up my hair… did someone say makeover??? Well, maybe a reveal… like I uncovered myself… 

After having not cut my hair, except for the fringe, for a year…

And after having saturated it with reds since last summer… 

I had been double washing it for a month 

Thinking about the length of process 

To get it all to blonde…

But first!!!

Oh yeah! 

Bob-tastic!

Honestly, I could have gone shorter… 

But I do like having a lil to shake around.

First layer of bleach and 40vol

With olaplex

45 mins…

Almost there

Raw color lift and no leave in conditioner 

After a rough blow dry 

Mmmmmmm

Reminds me of the 90s

How did we survive without the products 

And tools we have today???

Bleach round 2!

I went full throttle this time with 

40vol 

And no olaplex

Warning! 

Do not do this at home on your own!

If this gets on your roots, or skin 

Let’s just say 

Chemical burns are not fun.

Always wear gloves 

And remove any product that gets on your scalp

Skin

Or hands 

As soon as you can!

Vitamin E oil and neosporin the affected 

Areas asap if welts occur!

Serious business kids

Be careful out there 

You’re welcome 

Luv Mom

I did tone it after the second bleaching 

With shades EQ by redken 

Equal parts 10vv 09B 09T 

Two ounces of clear to dilute

Left on for 20mins

*

And you can see clearly above 

The effect of the bathroom light bulbs on the left 

And the natural light from the skylight to the right

*

A more balanced natural light below 

Before and After

And I will probably go a whole two years more without doing anything to my hair and it will be right back where we started again lol! 

It’s a nice way to show yourself some love though. 

I did feel very pampered when all was said and done.

Caring for your own physical being is never a waste of time or energy.

I’m going to go get some sun now!

x~J 

The Day I Went To War: 12 ~ For Peacekeeping

 

Diffused

And 

Never sure

Keeping 

A watcher

On every tower

Every night 

I 

Dare

To Sleep Vigilant 

And pure

As air 

Gasps

Fill My Lungs

I promise 

The collective 

Over and over

That every time 

I turn my cheek 

It

Is 

For Peacekeeping 

The Day I Went To War: 11~ Gypsy Hologram

A gypsy hologram 

Can find you 

Caravan 

Wagon train 

Or no

Dangling toes

Over porches 

Decks

Treehouses 

And tremulous still

Seeing throughout 

Dugouts

And 

Foxholes

Like a good ghost would

The Day I Went To War: 10 ~ As The Soul Leaves The Body For You

 

The sound

The sound it makes

Balloon stretched

Wincing 

Let’s be letting

That oxygen out 

Never tied

Emptying still

Crinkles the corner 

Of every staring cat 

As the scream

Latex dream

Breaks 

The soul in two

As the soul 

Leaves the body 

For you 

Dissociation is a powerful protection mechanism for anyone who has had past trauma experiences. It helps us survive the current battle. But, to truly vanquish our enemies, boundaries, knowledge of our triggers and how they were born, and most importantly… our authenticity matters. With our steadfast determination to know ourselves and be the guardian we need, without the input or contamination from outside influences… we will calmly take our power and our lives back. 

🔥My Fire To Your Fire🔥

x~ J aka Painter Le Fay 

The Day I Went To War: 9 ~ Whisps

 

Whisps 

Whisps

Oh dear

Whisps

Through the tents

Across the field 

Candle light 

Or gas

Roiling 

With poison fingers 

As the last drop

Drowned us

All around 

Tall grass

Rolling hills

A yellow house 

A blue face

A porch

A basement 

The hollowed out 

Passage 

Just big enough 

Under 

The concrete 

Slab

Studio Update & Latest Painting

The delectable mess I left after last week’s painting episode 

Got to get everything away from the old table 

Ready for the new desk setup…which I still need to get cleaned

I thought… while this is clear I’ll take a few pics…

Obviously of the cat, not the painting… 

I’m feels pretty satisfied with this latest stage

I mean, it’s very there

My eye satisfactorily scans and scans this happily 

Lil bits of iridescence and flecks of warm gold

Not counting the under painting, we have three stages of image building… 

To think that I was told at school that art wasn’t for everyone…

This work has determined that that was a lie.

Remember kids, there are ACTUAL frauds out there who spew lies and nonsense and hope never to be caught in the gaslighting they do. 

For whatever unloved trauma wound they base their drama from, keep doing you. Don’t even think of it as a rejection, just, find another venue for your path to journey on. 

Some people wouldn’t know authenticity even if it slapped them in the face. And they hate it when you express yours. 

Basically I’m saying your future is so bright that you will have to wear shades love. 

Anyway 

Class dismissed lol

x~ J aka Painter Le Fay 

The Day I Went To War: 8 ~ The Average Horizon

The Average Horizon 

Typical 

Space

Turf

Terra

In terror 

Twins

In apogee 

Laying in hate

Under the closet

Floor boards 

Is obvious 

And the game

Sorry

With sentinels all

Scatter

As the tears

Fill the eyes

Of a fawn

Caught 

In the limelight 

The Day I Went To War: 7~ Stealth Companion

Stealth companion 

Covered 

You 

In bliss

And dirt

As you echo

Down

To the other side 

Mixed

And coded

They neglect 

To share

As the walls

Were down

The Day I Went To War: 6 ~ Buried Together

Pieces 

Of me

Hold up

With

Fractions 

Of you

Battle 

For blocks

Feet first 

In the ground 

After the hunt

Traveling 

Shoeless

And buried 

Together