Simple and Odd ~ She Has Flown

The days have been simple and odd. 

Our dear soft lady has flown. 

Her frailty grew throughout the last 3 years, as did our resolve to retain the undying and loving commitment we had for her. As she left one aspect of living behind her, and then another, and another… we built and rebuilt ourselves around her and her needs. We would not ascend the stairs, we would not be on the couch, the rubs, the tubs, clips, and conversations became fewer, and scarce. 

The greatest gifts and trials came from my knowing her. 

The tangible context that had run through the fabric of our lives in this period, like a thread. Not holding it together, but adorning it, like a fine embroidery. Telling us for the rest of our days of the sweet stories long passed. 

It may feel like a disconnection out of sync with its full concept.  Maybe spelling out only a phrase, that once acted as a daily mantra. Edges frayed, and bits lost to wear and time. The original message obscured to you. 

I squint now at this muddled joy, gaps left by the integrity, or lack there of… 

Having leapt through this passage so quick, I now dream of the cherished freckles that gathered on that muzzle, through a lifetime of chewing on sticks while basking in the sun. Covered in leaves and pine needles, only taking a break to drink in the breeze and all of the data that could fit in a contented whiff. 

~Charli Girl~

Willful beastie 

And compulsive cuddler 

Sweet like chocolate 

Playful and smart

You will always know 

That we miss you 

By the hole you’ve left 

In our hearts

November ‘22 Life Update

 Doggy surgery:

She came out of her ~ Spa Day~ as though nothing had happened. We had given them a heads up that she had trouble coming out of anesthesia the last time her lumps and bumps were removed. It made all of the difference. Having a new vet also made a difference. They are so nice to her, and give us tons of aftercare advice as well as letting us know that we can reach out with questions at any time.

Just a little more time in the cone and she’ll be free again! 

I slept on the couch to be right there if she needed anything, water, walkies, reassurance. Small sacrifice. I mean, I got to steal some crisp linens with the fluffy pillow from the guest bedroom, so, I didn’t sleep long, but well, all in all. Especially since Charli Girl was resting so well. Crisis averted. Healing is my specialty. Regimen and recipes, wrapped up in science, my favorite.

So we will take the next bit of time to get her set… then… more paint! 

I figure we have time to choose… brown orange, orange orange or yellow orange…??? 

There are little things that hopefully will make it off the to do list soon as well, like a light fixture and new faucet for the upstairs bathroom… 

We are looking forward to pie though… isn’t it next week? 

Still not gathering, still having an immune system that thinks it’s 25yrs older than my outside lol. Would love to live till 90, thanks. 

I know most people don’t understand. That’s their problem. Honestly. I know full well that when people want to stick to their own narrative they are going to do just that. I’m on a mission. I don’t really feel compelled to convince anyone. Those who get it have shown up. I’m done chasing the idea of relationships with people who would not be compelled or be ready to grasp any other concept besides their own impulses. 

And if we’re being realistic, I’m no longer interested in being the gracious host, only to feel used and empty afterwards. Some people only show up for the lure of being served. If you can not reciprocate. Well, that says more about you, doesn’t it. 

This is getting deep. 

Do we pull away? It won’t benefit my journey, and I’m steering the ship, so…

It’s snowing here just now on the hill, big fat snow globe flakes and there’s a fire on. Bliss! 

Time for coffee! 

x~ J