Flights ~ 59: Travel Blind

 

59: Travel Blind 

So busy 

Time traveling  

A week 

Is weaker still

I was 

Tired 

An hour ago 

Next jump

Dive 

Warp

Dimension 

Might take 

The cache 

And leave this 

Travel mind

Travel blind

Flights ~ 55: Sweet Echoes

 

55: Sweet Echoes 

As I searched 

For silence 

You 

Gave it all

To me

Forever 

An endless

Pit of infinity 

Echoing

Only 

Back and forth 

Sweet

Nothingness 

It’s another Monday~ the child is fair of face~ it’s possible it’s manic, and snowing~ with the delightful tree kittens foraging in the frost for their snack… happy motivation to you all ☕️

For videos of plants, pets, poems, and paint:

https://youtube.com/channel/UCwJrc7pn-PTCOQT_H5ffe2g

#poem #poetry #creativewriting #writing #writer #innerchildwork #ptsd #depression #anxiety #transmutation #magick #pandemiclife #hope #picoftheday #projects #enchanted #fairy #muses #blogger

Flights~ 54: Lense

 

55: Lense

Crippled envelope 

Tho the letter 

Is still good 

Lens

To the old world 

Telescope

Terrorscope 

Balloon

Broken

Steel

Strength 

Gripping hands

Flights- 54: Sledge

 

54:

Lil sledge 

Incandescent 

In every way 

Take 

More 

Time 

To glow 

Please

Lil sledge 

Desired wedge 

Of 

Sweet merengue 

Fluffy was your draft

That kept 

Yogurt wings aloft

Now left

To be cross

Abominably so

I should be jumping into my painting today… there are many detours, flashing, shiny, paths that are pulling me in other directions… the rain~ hypnotic, the couch~ frikkin cozy, the laundry~ not as fun, but nice when your favorite skeleton onesie is clean and ready to wear ;-) the hours seem to pass so quick here. I’m sure there must be a sci-fi anomaly~ worthy of an epic tv series that could garner a cult following, and a packed meet and greet at Comicon…. Right…? 

For videos of plants, pets, poems, and paint:

https://youtube.com/channel/UCwJrc7pn-PTCOQT_H5ffe2g

#poem #poetry #creativewriting #writing #writer #innerchildwork #ptsd #depression #anxiety #transmutation #magick #pandemiclife #hope #picoftheday #projects #enchanted #fairy #muses

Flights- 53: Feels Like Ashes

 

53: Feels Like Ashes

Physique 

Complete with ghosts 

Echoes 

And bones

Wrapped up 

In excuses for being 

Subverted visions

In yet

One more 

Emanation 

Giving forth

To 

Just another 

Plain cardboard box

Mislabeled 

With riddles 

And invisibility 

This Thursday is finding me so worn thin, stretched, and eager to find methods of ergonomic efficiency to make it thru to a hopeful state… do you feel the same? 

I’m trying so hard to at least finish the painting of my new studio desk nook… I will eventually make it around the room… 

For videos of plants, pets, poems, and paint:

https://youtube.com/channel/UCwJrc7pn-PTCOQT_H5ffe2g

#poem #poetry #creativewriting #writing #writer #innerchildwork #ptsd #depression #anxiety #transmutation #magick #pandemiclife #hope #picoftheday #projects #enchanted #fairy #muses

Flights- 52: Passing Notes

 

52

Language 

Is a mouthful 

Pain is 

Movement 

Cat

A tonic

On my lap

Words

Medicine 

When graphite 

Slays the page

Salvation 

Sliding

The illicit 

Notes

Under the door

To the Milky Way 

And back

Flights ~continued~ 51:

 

51

They told me

Never 

Build a fence 

Around your 

Tiny cemetery 

The averages

Say

Once one part

Of you dies

There will be more 

Like rungs 

On a ladder 

Going down

Into the dirt

This collection… I thought there were only about 52 poems… seems like we maybe going longer… like I cousin you haven’t seen in years… I swear you were just a tiny child… but you are a fully grown adult… how’d that happen… probably like the other night… I’m drifting off to sleep at 12:30ish am… and words start gathering at my minds gate… sometimes I ignore them promising them that they can enter the club when I wake and it’ll still be a good time… and then I open my eyes and the crowd behind the velvet rope is completely gone… empty streets… just a ragged piece of paper being tossed in the breeze between the dense landscape of buildings that makes up my thoughts and feelings… with the occasional allley cat wandering thru ~ who is so cute and may come over if you call to it… careful tho… it’s probably a situation where you pet it ~ it purrs… then whips around and the claws are out… y’know like life. 

;-)

For videos of plants, pets, poems, and paint:

https://youtube.com/channel/UCwJrc7pn-PTCOQT_H5ffe2g

#poem #poetry #creativewriting #writing #writer #innerchildwork #ptsd #depression #anxiety #transmutation #magick #pandemiclife #hope #picoftheday #projects #enchanted #fairy #muses

The Two Hands of Life - Dog update

Night two of little sleep… very broken sleep… 

Our dog suffered a stroke on Wednesday 

She’s ok, best case scenario so far

I’ve been keeping watch over her and attending to her every need through the nights and days, etc…

She’s recovering very well, becoming less confused and needing less help with getting up and moving.

Thank goodness 

So while everyone is leveling out

Recharging and full intentions set on raising our vibration to 

Stop what feels like a complete burnout 

Lurking just around the corner…

We are lacing everything with gratitude 

We are not engaging with the bs

We are picking our battles 

And not giving our energy away to the wrong causes 

I have been- since late November 

Trying to move my studio upstairs 

To have a set up to allow, not only for several easels 

For painting 

But for the writing processes 

Finding all of the pockets of dust bunnies 

Taking up the carpet 

The curtains are in the wash

Because they will be acting as the sound barrier 

Walls ~ fingers crossed 

That all of the planned gadgets 

Really do come in handy 

Picturing the cat toppling the whole menagerie 

EEk 

Found a receipt from 2018…

Some of the frills from the curtain set up

All tangled 

But I sorted it…

For now though 

We focus on this Charli Girl

Fingers crossed 

This is the only occurrence of this particular 

Physical ailment for her

And maybe I can take a shower and a nap today 

And we drink all the coffee 

And stay cozy because it’s 

A brisk 2 degrees Fahrenheit 

-13 if you take the wind into consideration 

And

Of course we always do…

Lol

If I can wrap my head around it later today or tomorrow 

Whichever comes first 

I will start popping up more of that

Collection 

Of poeems for you…

I keep writing them

So I better try to catch up…?

Anyway ttyl

~J

By the way 

I’m not going to edit this post

Bc my eyes are too tired yadda yadda

Sleepy peepers 

You get it

& thank you darlin 

M’Lady

What Was I Saying?

 

I started writing this post… and I went to look something up… 

Then I came back here… and I felt a wave of guilt…

As tho we had been on the phone together and I stepped away…

Left the phone on a table and forgot about our exchange…

What’s even worse…

I forgot what I was going to post about… 

I figured, more than a poem today…

Why not right…? 

Well… here we are then… I’ll call you back lol…

What was I saying?

It’s been going on 17 years now, since I was diagnosed with a rare, & so far incurable disease. 

It all started off with a burning ache in my knees, and built up to an arthritic ache in most of my joints, accompanied by a lingering fatigue and brain fog. 

Many months later: my ankles became disturbingly swollen and hot pink welt-like bruises developed on my calves and shins.

Lots of doctors and appointments later~ I found a physician that knew what was going on and how to begin to turn things around. 

It all stemmed from an extremely low vitamin d count in my blood- they say normal low for New England is mid to low 20s, and mine was 4.2… 

It took 5yrs to start being able to count more than a few days in a row of feeling better.

Winter is would always be the hardest time physically ~ there has only been one. Just one winter, where I could make it to mid February without feeling the aches, brain fog, dizziness etc… 

My immune system let’s me know in no uncertain terms that it’s crunch time by exhibiting symptoms at will. 

These lovely moments come on sometimes in the guise of the aches and fog, but sometimes in my hands shaking and my skin breaking out in bits of viral pustules (really charming). These skin viruses are no bother to most healthy bodies, but those of us who live compromised… we’ve been there, done that. 

Now that we’ve been through the second year of living through this pandemic… I’ve had to adjust, and rely on my ability to entertain myself, and put my artistic body back to work.

The stress of the baseline situation is felt in my bones, my lymphatic system is taxed, inflammation is high, and symptoms are apparent. There isn’t any comfort, or reassurance in the fact that I’m vaccinated and boosted. And my doctor RETIRED in November of 2019… 

Imagine having a weird immune system during a pandemic, and your only option ~ so far~ for doctors has no clue… they don’t specialize, not their fault. Also not helpful in much more than offering up the latest pill or prescription. 

And there’s the guilt! Omg! Heavy, overwhelming, gloom and doom guilt! When your watching everyone on video chat have together times… and the risk assessment is too high… it’s heart breaking. But the hospital bills, or long haul scenarios are too unbearable to think of… 

No! Let’s not talk about my loss of identity, when I essentially had to chuck my business I’d built since 1997… when the last client I had back in March of 2020… I had been telling everyone to be sure they had no symptoms or exposure before coming to the home studio… she said no… then told me as her hair color was just about all applied that she and her husband were exposed at a party just a few days prior and her husband had run a fever… 

And then the country locked down…

I’ve scrambled since, to gather ppe, make areas outside to do haircuts, and one thing or another put those plans out of wack. 

That stress put my body in crisis mode and the sciatic nerve situation began. 

It only began to loosen when I told people that I would have to be permanently pausing my attempts to get back to styling.

I was essentially crippled for an entire year.

Now I rehabilitate…

“But hon, you need a physiotherapist” 

You may think that, sure. If I hadn’t already been trained in what’s screwed up in my physical being. And the information is out there. How do you think the physiotherapist learns what they learn… and you can ask what ever you want and find whatever info exists. Get base knowledge and build on it-  and never take risks, ok… 

In essence ~ I’m rebuilding on many levels ~ from what feels like scratch. I’ve currently no income, ad sense might be able to pay for my therapist sessions soon, so that’s a relief. Mental Health is dreadfully important currently. If I wasn’t so intent on finding out ways to quell the heaps and swells of inner child- past trauma- shadow work that have been my mind’s favorite hobby during this time… I’m not sure where I’d be. Existence would be the least tolerable thing, if I hadn’t been willing to find a path through. 

My poetry, I have been writing most of what you’ve seen here since 2012 and on… just putting it in the banks so that it needn’t take up space in my head…

My painting, what I’ve always wanted to do… and I’m endlessly grateful that I’m beginning to bring joy to others with it through my YouTube videos. 

I will be constructing a new studio space in our house, so that I can set up and not worry about our occasional quarantine situation ~ impeding my being able to have access to where I’m set up. 

A nice bit of organizing as well, high I love! 

And I know I have many questions coming in as to how I am able to stand not getting out and about. 

It’s simple ~ I don’t want to be any sicker than I already am. I would much rather go without. The meaning is deep for me. We can always reach out through the internet, get take out, watch movies here. And it’s not becoming any easier to envision going back out into public when the current daily infections for Massachusetts is over 16,000. Resulting in over 100,000 current active cases… 

I’d rather have the whole thing done and over… wouldn’t you?

Anyway ~ this is long enough… 

Look for more poeems etc… posts about the studio, and the next gardening season- CANT WAIT! Can’t wait to see what new plants come up this year- as it will be the first year anniversary of us removing all of those huge pines that sucked the ground dry… things are emerging out there! So exciting!!!

Well- happy new year…

Btw- I’m not editing this post- let’s keep it raw kk

J-

Zenith or Cliffhanger

 

NEW! Shocking Poem!

Shocking?

Or was I shocked

When I wrote it…? 

 

 

December 22nd ~ The Longest Night

The longest night~ 

May we return~ 

Onto the light~ 

To have it reach us all~ 

Let us only carry forth with us~ 

The blessings from the fall~ 

This last spin~ 

Around our sun~ 

While living on this earth~ 

Has tested faith~ 

In the all of us~ 

As adversity stole our mirth~ 

If weight imbalance~ 

Of journeys past~ 

Has steadily upset~ 

The pivot of the muses~ 

Will focus on your debts~ 

Abundance may it reach us all~ 

As well the milder weather~ 

Bring these thoughts along with you~ 

To forge a stronger tether~ 

VLOGMAS 2021 December 22nd

https://youtu.be/UzNbeTW0mNU

#vlogmas #vlog #2021 #NewEngland #pets #christmas #xmas #winter #yule #solstice #cats #dogs #woods #home #cosy #cozy #poet #writer #painter #hyyge #enchanted #fairy #magic #holidaylights #muses #abundance

#slowliving #poem #fullmoon #blessings 

Blood Orange Sky

 

I was being tugged at by the kitten this morning ~ he wouldn’t let me be ~ it becomes harder to ignore when he begins to give little love bites to my fingers and hands ~ as I detect the temperature of his ears ~ as he shoves his head into my hands again and again ~ purring so loud ~ I open one eye to look for signs of morning light ~ and this blood orange sky greeted us today ~

Blood orange sky

Like the road to flight

Frost on glasses

Never seen so clear

All dimensions 

Represented

Yet

Never truly captured 

On the camera 

Of our hearts

From the collection “Soft Focus on Need”

Flights- 50: Immaculate Stasis

 

The break that isn’t given from real time ~ gives way for the mind to take the break for itself ~ dissociation ~ maladaptive daydreaming & social withdrawal ~ becomes the glass shield ~ coffin-like protection as your mind seeks to protect you…

50

Gunna 

Have to

Buy 

You a bigger ring

For the 

Energy you 

Keep

Kicking up

Your 

Phosphorescent 

Marauding 

In a vast

Immaculate 

Stasis 

Flights- 49

 

49

I couldn’t 

Make a sound

The air 

Escaped me 

Eluded me

Excluded me

Soft things 

Make it better 

I will surround

Myself 

In weighted armor 

Hinder

The howling winds

Cover my eyes

Can you hear me now

Flights- 46, 47 & 48

 

The ability to remember your control over experience ~ if and when you become tapped into the ring of stress ~ dulls the senses ~ in the extreme ~ memories of calm ~ soft relaxation ~ peace ~ becomes eclipsed ~ obscured ~ unrelated to your reality… 

46

Trap door

Unlocked 

You’re 

So 

Heinous 

You have no idea 

That this 

Poem 

Is about you

47

Pulled back 

Into the muck

I will reach 

For a vine

Or branch

Even a stick

On the side

Of this 

Swamp

48

This ship

Captained by

A howling 

She~Devil

With tresses 

Of silver 

Buried 

On occasion

Flights- 45 Shine Again

 

Some of these word cakes are from months ago- some are from years ago- when I drop them off here- I wonder- sometimes- about the day they found their way to me- delivery- fresh- from the muses- wrapped up like a present- or served on ice like a fine liquor… always bringing transformation of frequency…

45

Leaving off

Never

On again 

Twisted 

Chemical 

Invasion 

Parallel helix

Driven to heal

Or divide 

Discovered 

In books

Ancient 

In design 

I hunt

An appetite 

A single hint

At a want 

To shine again