Secret Post for Christmas! Shhhhh…

 This is my lil gift to you!

I’m glad you found it!

I have not posted the link anywhere! So if you’re reading this… well, I guess it was written in the stars. 

How are ya? How ya been? 

Me? Well, I’ve had a bit of a rough spell, within a rough spell…

And all the universe wanted to do was say the ride ain’t over- watch this!

I found a stabilizer tho… it was focus. Listen. To myself. Only myself. 

There were many moments where I forgot to do meaningful things just for my benefit during all of the hubbub. I got lost there. And it made everything little that I used for tools to stay my course seem harder to employ.

My resolve was to eliminate as many short form quick fixes, for steadfast long term solutions. And knowing myself well enough to know that where the temptation to linger on the whys and oh no’s, gloom and doom offered up 24/7 at the tips of our fingers…

The little voice inside said, you don’t need that… you should cut ties. You need to simplify the situation. Bigger things are coming. Get ready so you can grab on and hold tight. 

If this is something that you needed to know, think about, or wonder on… I hope it can be a gift from me to you. 

As this year winds down, I hope my inspiration can help fuel your inspiration~ ❤️‍🔥 My Fire to Your Fire ❤️‍🔥

x~J

Clues~ Liberté

 

Liberté

And crawl away

Raising 

All of your 

Tigers 

Like they

Were Runner Ducks

Alphabetically 

Beaten

Left hungry 

Like

Begging 

Hats

Worn like coats

And 

Smoothing 

Over

Every iron out 

With

A chimney flayer 

Ghosts ~ 5: My Scream

 

5: My Scream 

If 

You don’t know 

My scream by now

I’m the coma 

The blackout 

The cancellation 

The words never spoken 

The rally 

The wagons

The race

That never happened 

If 

You

Don’t

Know my scream

By now

Lucky 

Late

On time

Tomorrow 

It’s coming 

Ghosts ~ 4: Old Haunts

 

4: Old Haunts

Hallway 

Windows old

Squeaks

Flats

A roof you could sit on

And

A driveway 

Hardest type

Of rubble 

Hot under foot

In the summer

Ghosts~ 3: Plummet

 

3: Plummet 

There isn’t a chair 

There isn’t anywhere 

Mist

Enjoyment 

Light

So dim

You could stub 

Your toe

On this cloud

After the trouble 

You never suffered or’t

Throw in my years

Of tumbling through 

Without 

A line

Without a design 

Plan

Or hint

That anyone could see

The re-run

Re-peats

A plummet

From 

Grace

Ghosts ~ 2: The Snapper

 

2: The Snapper

Snapper 

Was the whip

The denial

Was the crème 

Hiding under ladders 

Were the children 

Rarely seen

Holy nights 

And spies at bay

I hold the ever present hand

That lay

Or lied

Any other 

Time 

I died

Ghosts~ 1: In Vain

 

1: In Vain

Must need

Maps

And naps

After meals

Of deals

And puffs

Of mist

Over hills

And oceans 

To breathe 

The dew 

Next to you 

As rocks 

Hold 

The cradle 

In vain

Final Flights~ 83: On The Eclipse

 

83: On The Eclipse 

There is

No

Rejection 

Protection 

Asking for a friend 

Which way

Does this

Storm blow

Stats

Graphics 

Only visible on the eclipse 

While moon dust 

Gets in your eye

And asking 

Hurricane 

How’s the weather 

With you 

Flights ~ 82: Glide

 

82: Glide

There won’t be a warning 

I will slide into the room 

Glide 

Along

The edges 

Through shadow 

And behind the couch 

I will do this

Enough 

That

Eventually 

You will forget 

What I once

Looked like

Flights ~ 81:Rabbit

 

81:Rabbit 

Flopsy 

Mopsy

And 

Holy Hell

Impress each other 

At a cocktail party 

It’s a party

On wheels 

In the rain

In Spain

What a pain

To have a sprain 

It’s over

For now…

I did an illustration for this one, see above… I got carried away with the cross hatching… very relaxing! 

x~J

Flights ~ 80: Masquerade

 

80: Masquerade 

Sat 

So idle

By the side

Of your apocalypse 

Never

Truly 

Feeling 

Like comfort 

Was to 

Creep back in

Awaken

Shake

Out

Out of this 

Hideous 

Hellscape 

Masquerading 

As a dream

Flights ~ 79: Finish To Finale

 

79: Finish To Finale 

I know

I’ve left my heart

Here 

Somewhere 

I thought 

I’d just 

Take it 

Out 

For a minute 

Finish 

To 

Finale

Yours

Knowing 

While things

Got 

Rough

For safe keeping 

Now 

It is

Gone

Found: Letters From The Past

 

Reading through 

These scribbles

From 2003

Ancient times 

To deliver us from 

The chickens scratching 

Dressed up 

Combed 

Ready for new print: 

11230301

Ill commune with this

And ride it thru

making

the

make

And Over Another 

Good turn

to be

the turning

And

My lost

loosing and

My

over tuning

So burdened 

By

And

Absent to

All

the bitter recovery 

There's

Nothing

Left

to

choose

You

Can’t

even

Imagine 

I’ll 

be there

Soon

Sometimes when the imposter syndrome creeps

I think… you ain’t got no voice… who’d read that 

& think that that is a thing…

At least I can prove this to myself now.

x~ J

Tales from the Tall Fable Table

 

I need more notebooks…

I’ve been writing 

Developing 

It doesn’t seem to want to stop

Storylines become clearer 

Adventures 

More fleshed out

And the moment of inspiration 

Occurs more and more 

Almost obscuring 

My own will

As I sit here

On an early fall

Rainy day 

I do

Picture these endeavors 

In hard

Geometry 

Settled 

Comfortably 

In my hands 

Your hands

On shelves 

And under lights 

Most inevitably 

The task 

Now

Is to bristle up

And make fine 

The image 

The alphabet 

The reality 

“We’ve only just begun”

Is the notion 

On repeat 

In my mind

“Follow”

A chorus beckons 

No choice 

The Muses have spoken 

x~ J

Image by me: Painter Le Fay from 2016

Epic Flail!

 

Let me just start

By saying 

There were factors 

Revolving around 

Grief…

And I spent time with it

Even though 

As the time passed

I was not enthused 

Feeling safe 

In the knowledge 

That if this really didn’t 

Hit the spot

I could 

Just paint it over…

And this chandelier wasn’t helping…

And then I remembered 

We had some trim like scraps

In the cellar…

Hmmmm… 

I like … 

But…

What do you think I did next? 

… 

…

…

Next up is performing a bit of resurrection of sorts~

Having found a bucket of word cakes from the ancient times.

And more…

Haff to go for now because digging stirred up enough dust to blind even the healthiest of eyes. 

X~ J aka Painter Le Fay 

P.S.

I’m needing a good paint sesh this week~ look for it on my YouTube channel…

Scraping Down To The Bottom

 

There is no normal frame 

To hang the image

To represent 

This week in my life

Until this fog~

Mighty mist

As it weighs 

Upon~

Lifts…

Cakes decorated with posies of prosies

Written 

Thru swollen windows 

Thrown open 

To vistas

Drawn up from

One dystopian 

Sepia toned

Pen

The collection called “Results”

Is my new nest

And it is being feathered 

With the strings

Connected to 

And not exclusively of

My heart

And the pieces that remain

Within reach

Pinnacle 

Of 

Pestilence 

All efforts 

Lost

On the fringe

Of this battlefield 

Like shoes

Tied together 

Hanging 

On 

The tension 

Of a line

Once said 

In anger 

This week has not been the best

Something is in my ear saying “just wait”…

Send Choc, I think the dementors are on their way…

X-J

Caught Between Quantum Reality & Magical Thinking: An Update

 

Running thru mazes

Just hopping along 

The gardens are wild 

And waiting for attention 

There’s a wee bee hive by the front windows 

Otherwise 

Indoor stuff is benefiting from having to keep an eye on

The elder pets

A week ago

We feared that both of them 

Were racing each other to the rainbow bridge 

Now

Pup has a special diet and gets lux noms 

4 times a day

Living her best life 

And our best brother mr mars

Is fading 

Like a bloom

Until we meet again 

Honey bear 

Will be any day now

Gasp

Sob

Deep sigh 

We all know this day will eventually greet us…

It still cuts 

We have been giving him everything he wants 

Mostly it’s napping on the porch 

And going out to the backyard 

We have many long chats 

And cuddle time…

Other than these things …

We have other looming weird adulting

Phone calls

Logistics 

Where’s the money coming from

Decision based roll playing games

Lol

I’m getting really into moths…

And there’s been a kitchen makeover change up

Happening…

Every other day I’m thinking:

I hate it

Or 

Push this as far as it can go, then keep going!

No regrets…

Like a crazed pirate on a ship of paint and decor…

And 

There is…

The current baseline of existence 

Being burnout 

So 

Kindness 

Compassion 

And care

Is being shoved into focus 

And comparison is 

Crumpled like a piece of paper and tossed…

In the recycling bin 

Because we Care.

That’s it 

Gotta go

I’ve resumed journaling 

And the pen is calling…

X-J

A Poem Today, An Update Tomorrow

 

How to hide

When 

No one is looking 

The trick

Is coming 

And the buckets

Are soaring 

Birds gathering 

On

Limbs 

Of kings

Soaking up

The last light

In 

The day

That never ended

Coll: Results 7/27/22

Smudged Painting

 

Living 

Day to day

In a gruesome 

Painting 

That smudges

At every

Turn 

Of every page 

On this calendar 

And I breathe 

Different air

And I see

Chaos

In a new structure 

Not built 

By these living things

But shadows 

Snatching 

And 

Scratching 

At our feet

Mr Mars is still with us, I think, if it didn’t feel so emotional, I would say that he’s doing particularly well. All things considered, he’s up and about, eating very well, etc… visibly, he has changed so much, and light as a feather. Just a daily reminder that he has gotten off the expressway and is heading towards the rainbow bridge…. 

New Exorcist/New Maps

 

New exorcism 

New exercise 

New setting of the mind

As we have wandered 

While wandering 

Into new meadows 

So thick 

With elements 

Of can’t 

Can nots

And 

Don’t even consider it 

What it creates 

Domicile 

For the flyers 

The crawler 

And the dissolver 

Of comfort 

On levels 

Rarely seen

Take hold

Make

Your own can’ts now

Draw down

The battle lines

With binary faith

Noble branches

Nearly cut

To serve as boundary 

And new map drawn

Sovereignty 

As red as the tresses 

And flags 

That arise 

In the delicate 

Balance 

Of can’t